A model for Dealing With Difficult People – Stage 2 Assess Your Choices | Coach in the City

A model for Dealing With Difficult People – Stage 2 Assess Your Choices

Posted by: on Jul 23, 2017 | No Comments

The fun you can have with a weed!
Childhood memories of  country walks flood my mind whenever I see one of these little beauties.  Folding the stem to make a trigger.  Aim.  Firing at my sister’s head.  And with any luck woodland warfare would ensue if I successfully hit my target!

   But sometimes we want to avoid, Not provoke Conflict!

Just for a moment, put yourselves in the shoes of my sister.  Peacefully walking along then having to deal with an unprovoked attack.  What choices do you have? 

To help you decide I would suggest you use our  Notice – Assess  – Engage model for dealing with difficult people.   Stage 2 is all about deciding whether what’s happening is something you actually have to address?   Is the constant peppering with weed heads truly affecting you or are you letting it get to you?  It also might be helpful to consider whether you are the only one being attacked, or whether you can engage support from others.

You have 4 choices

1) Ignore it                    Do Nothing & put up with it.

2) Accept it                    Reframe your thinking.   Change your own behaviour or attitude

3) Disengage                 Terminate the relationship.  Walk away.  (difficult to do when its family)

4) Engage                       Decide to take  action to influence the behaviour of the other person.

The important point here is you do have choice.
As kids, we haven’t learnt this lesson yet, and inevitably, spotting this type of weed on a country walk would provoke a full scale battle.   As adults you have a range of options open to you.   You don’t have to go to every party you are invited to!”